Nestled in the Champagne region 80 miles northeast of Paris, visitors flock to Reims for two reasons: centuries-old cathedrals and decades-old bubbly. Kristi, our friend Anne, and I rented a car and took an overnight trip to experience both.
Notre-Dame de Reims is the flagship cathedral in this city of 188,000. Over the course of a thousand years (9th to 19th centuries), 34 coronations of French monarchs took place at this location. This gothic cathedral, which celebrated its 800th anniversary in 2011, was built to replace the previous church that was burned to the ground. These images were taken at night.
The following morning, we stumbled across the champagne house of G.H. Martel, founded in 1869. We quickly signed up for a tour (with tasting) of the Gallo-Roman chalk cellars that burrow nearly 70 feet underneath the building and date to as early as the 4th century. While this was mostly a museum demonstrating how champagne was once made, bottled champagne is aged in subterranean cellars to maintain constant cool temperatures; nearly 200 million bottles are aging in over 60 miles of underground cellars underneath the nearby town of Épernay.
Above ground, we drove through miles of vineyards during harvest on our way to Épernay.
If a way to man’s heart is through his stomach, then perhaps the best way to understand the essence of a city is through its bowels.
Or maybe it’s just an interesting way to spend € 4.50.
Either way, The Paris Sewer Museum (Musée Égouts de Paris) is just a baguette’s toss from the Eiffel Tower and, surprisingly, has a much shorter line. When I first learned of this attraction, I vowed to visit it before I set foot on the iron steps of the Eiffel Tower; a promise that I have kept, twice (I forgot my camera on my first visit).
If you have a strong stomach—the most interesting educational signage can only be read by standing on a grate over a slow river of pungent wastewater—and an interest in how engineering evolved with an expanding Paris, then Musée Égouts de Paris is worth a visit. Much of what you’ll learn can provide insight on the difficulty of supplying freshwater while safely disposing of wastewater, an issue that has become increasingly relevant on both a metropolitan and global scale.
But I can’t help but wonder if there’s an official at the tourism bureau who said: “See, I told you guys that tourists will pay to go see anything!”
Fun Facts:
The sewer network evacuates 1.2 million cubic meters of wastewater a day, the equivalent of 35,000 milk trucks stretched for 250 miles.
Every year, enough trash is removed from sewers to cover a football field, nine feet deep.
They periodically send large wooden balls—just smaller than the diameter of the pipe—through sewer lines to clean out accumulated crud and sand.
Toilets account for 39% of water used in Paris, followed by dishes and laundry (22%), showering (20%), and cooking (6%). One percent is used for drinking.
There are 26,000 sewer inspection covers located throughout Paris, every 50 meters.
If you drop something down a storm drain, you can call 44-75-22-75 and have a cheerful civic employee climb down through the sewer to find your lost item—free of charge.
Now, for a little more history.
1st – 4th centuries A.D. – Paris had a populations of 6,000 people and water was drawn from the Seine or tributaries. Wastewater was dumped into the earth streets and fields where it eventually met the Seine. Romans did respect their personal hygiene and built an aqueduct to bring fresh spring water into the homes of dignitaries and public baths.
5th – 15th centuries A.D. – During the Middle Ages, the city Paris spread out and, with a population of 200,000, it became the most populous city in Europe. The contents of chamber pots were thrown from windows onto the streets below; shouts of regardez l’eau! (“Watch out for the water!”) is a theory for the derivation of loo, British slang for toilet. Wastewater would collect on earthen streets, greasing the skids for epidemics like the plague. The overwhelming stench prompted engineers to build “split streets,” paved roads with a central gutter in the 13th century, and later building the first covered sewer in 1370—just 300 meters in length. Drinking water still came from the Seine and public fountains fed by aqueducts; demand gave birth to the profession of “water fetcher.”
15th – 18th centuries A.D. – During the Renaissance, the population of Paris increased slightly to 250,000 by the 16th century, but the population doubled to 500,000 during the 17th. To deal with the exploding amount of waste, Francois 1 (early 16th century) made it mandatory that cesspits be built underneath all buildings. Waste was transported to nearby moats and garbage bins by sewage collectors. King Lois XIV started construction of the main sewer system in the late 17th century. Water supply was the same as during the Middle Ages: fountains, wells, and the Seine. New aqueducts were built and several new pumps, powered by the flow the river, were installed on the Seine. The number of “water fetchers” grew to 20,000.
1850 – 1914 – The population of Paris hits 1 million in 1845. Baron Haussmann—civic planner under Napoleon III who sculpted the grand avenues and ubiquitous apartment blocks of “modern” Paris—appointed Eugene Belgrand to head the Water Board. Over the next 50 years, Belgrand oversaw the building of 600 km of aqueducts that brought fresh spring water from the Seine Valley. Still not able to meet demand, water from the Seine was run through large filters filled with sand. Water that Parisians used to drink was relegated to cleaning streets. The profession of “water fetchers” was eliminated with the creation of the General Water Company, which would provide water to private homes with a fee. Sewers were built to collect waste directly from buildings and empty it into the Seine, downriver from Paris. As pollution built, and clouds of methane caused people to move away from the river, Paris constructed 19 square miles of fields outside the city across which the city’s raw sewage was spread to be filtered naturally. Vegetable gardens hosted at the site grew vegetables of unnatural size.
Routes in the sewer system have signs for the corresponding street or landmark above it
(Bruneseau, however, was the man commissioned by Napoleon to map the sewer network in the early 19th century and this section was dedicated to him—what an honor).
The underground flow of urban runoff.
The educational signage, located over a slowly moving river of brown wastewater.
I have never been more fearful of anything falling from my pockets.
One the sewer pipes viewable from the walkways.
A sword recovered from construction work in the sewer.
A pair of recovered swords.
An example of a wooden ball used to clean smaller pipes. As water pressure builds behind it,
the ball scrapes the sides of the pipe and pushes the accumulated sand and urban detritus out the other side.
An example of a much larger ball used to clean out the main pipes, which are about 8′ in diameter.
A sewer employee uses a bugle to warn his coworkers of heavy rains, which cause floods underground.
Go. Enjoy the bowels of Paris at Musée Égouts. But don’t bring a picnic lunch.
No one comes to Paris for the birds. But because many European travel itineraries loop through the City of Light, birders would be well served to bring their binoculars. After perusing paintings at the Louvre and consuming sweets at the corner patisserie, take a morning and explore one of the locations outlined below. You may be surprised about what species you can find.
Look at an aerial map of Paris and, amidst the tangle of streets, you’ll note that one is never more than a couple metro stops away from a patch of green. Unfortunately for birders, most are gardens that for centures have been subjected to French landscape architects who value order and symmetry over ecology. Ultimately, avian diversity suffers.
After living in southwestern Paris for eight months, I found a handful of gems that are worth a visit.
Bois de Boulogne**
Parc de l’Ile St Germain**
Ile de Seguin
Parc du Beaumonts
Jardin des Plantes
Cimetiere du Pere Lachaise
Bois de Vincennes** Parks listed in no particular order. (**) Denotes the most rewarding locations if time is at a premium.
Helpful Resources:
Check out eBird.org to get an idea of what species are likely when (this bar chart is for all of Île de France, the prefect where Paris is located). To search to see where specific species have been reported in Paris, visit this page (currently Crested Tit) and type the species name in the top left. NOTE: resident eBirders in Paris are extremely rare so the eBird database is almost entirely dependent on visiting birders like you—please input your sightings to make this bar chart as accurate as possible.
Fauna – Île de France is where sightings are reported by French birdwatchers. Click on one of the Les __ derniers jours links in the left nav to select reports from the last two, five, or fifteen days. Select “Lieu 75” on the next page to only display reports from Paris (Paris is located in postal district 75). Species names are in French but you can translate the page automatically if you use Google Chrome, or copy and paste the names into translate.google.com. If a report interests you, use Google or Bing Maps to find the location, but be sure to search the French version of the place name.
Bois de Boulogne
If you have the time, a morning at Bois de Boulogne (literally “Boulogne Forest”) will provide a nice slice of European specialties. Located to the west of Paris, Bois de Boulogne is located just outside the circular peripherique highway that defines the borders of Paris. It’s 2.5 times the size of New York’s Central Park and offers unmanaged habitat complete with undergrowth, mature trees and snags—a refreshing change from the manicured gardens located on the inside of the highway.
Best opportunities exist in the Parcours Sportif, a 3km exercise trail in the southeast corner of the park. Habitat is relatively open—especially the eastern half—allowing easy viewing of the mature deciduous tree canopy. Check snags for Greater Spotted or Green Woodpeckers—the more numerous woodpecker species—but keep an eye out Middle-Spotted and Lesser-Spotted Woodpeckers as well. Chasing down a pecking sound revealed a Black Woodpecker on one August morning. Early spring is the best time to chase woodpeckers as territorial males start to drum on still leafless trees.
While looking for woodpeckers, listen for Common Chiffchaff, Eurasian Nuthatches, and Short-toed Treecreepers. Mixed flocks of tits are likely throughout the park, including—in order of abundance—Great, Eurasian Blue, Long-tailed, and Marsh. Crested Tits can be found in the conifer trees that line carless Avenue de Saint-Cloud that runs north-south down the middle of Parcours Sportif. This is also a good spot for Goldcrests.
The ample undergrowth hold many of the likely suspects, including European Robin, Eurasian Wren, Song Thrush, Eurasian Blackbird, Blackcap, Common Chiffchaff, and Willow Warbler. Firecrest are possible during migration; check blackbird flocks for Redwing in winter as well as tree tops for Mistle Thrush and Fieldfare.
Scan the skies for passing raptors like Eurasian Sparrowhawk and Eurasian Kestrel, but chances are passing silhouettes will belong to the ubiquitous Common Wood-Pigeon (but check for the smaller Stock Doves).
Birding doesn’t get your pulse racing? Stop at one of the numerous exercise stations to do some quick chin-ups or dips. In addition to joggers, this area is also popular with dog owners. Most dogs are off-leash and wander freely—sometimes in large spirited packs—but, like their owners, nearly all will choose to ignore you.
From the Parcours Sportif, walk north to Lac Inferior and Lac Superior. The water’s edge is neatly manicured so don’t expect too many marsh birds, but Eurasian Coot, Mallard, Mute Swan, and Eurasian Moorhen are easily spotted. Scan out over the open water for Common House-Martin and Barn Swallow in spring and summer.
Still not ready to go back to the city? The Bois de Boulogne offers hundreds of miles of trails into largely forested habitat and will increase your chances of spotting species mentioned above and others, especially during migration. Réserve Ornithologique at the intersection Allée de Longchamp and Route de la Grande Cascade offers intriguing habitat with a blind complete with educational signage, but several late morning visits yielded little. The nearby lakes and surrounding habitat are worth a wander; an off-trail stand of conifer trees provided great studies of a flock of Goldcrests and a pair or Eurasian Bullfinches in June.
Be forewarned that it is quite easy to get turned around in this labyrinth of trails. A GPS-enabled smartphone will be the biggest help but if you don’t have access to data. The widely used Paris Pratiqué street map has a page dedicated to Bois de Boulogne but for a more detailed view, take a picture of one of the large maps with your phone that greets visitors as they enter the park. This image will help orient you when you come across one of the many thoroughfares that criss-cross the park, many of which are well-marked. A compass is also a big help.
As you explore the trails, be mindful that visiting the edge of any major drivable thoroughfare may bring you face-to-face with the less reputable side of this natural area: prostitutes. Lone men wandering the woods may attract attention, but a quick flash of your binoculars should dispel any questions about the intention of your visit. Visit during the daytime and your safety won’t be an issue.
Directions: Take the Line 10 Metro to the Porte d’Auteuil stop. Walk west on Avenue de la Porte d’Auteuil. You can cut in to the park at numerous locations, but to get to the parcours de sportif, continue on Avenue de la Porte d’Auteuil, passing Roland Garros (home of the French Open) on your left. Upon arriving at the large traffic circle, take a sharp right up the carless Avenue de Saint-Cloud. Good habitat exists on either side of the road, but the parcours trail run parallel to the road after about 0.25 mile on the right side of the road. For easy access, continue on Avenue de Saint-Cloud until the six way intersection, and take a 90 degree right to access the trail(s).
Parc de l’Ile St Germain If you find yourself in the south—and maybe slightly west—of Paris, it’s worth a stroll over the bridge to Parc de l’Ile St Germain, even for non-birders. Surrounded by the river Seine, Ile de St. Germaine (“St Germain Island”) is almost entirely public park. The eastern half of the park contains an equestrian center, a restaurant, and an oddly painted monolith—the unlikely lovechild of a nascent Picasso and an overzealous cement mixer—perched on top of a hill overlooking some playfields.
If you seek birds, make tracks to the western end of the park, also accessible from Boulevard des l’Iles from Pont de Billancourt (“Billancourt Bridge”) to the west. The secret gardens nestled amongst stone ruins are worth a few photos, but the nearby grasslands—and possibility for goldfinches and serins—may distract birders. That natural habitat will improve as you continue west to a very small wetland at the far western edge of the park—the most productive area for birding in the entire park, especially during migration. Eurasian Blue, Great, and Long-tailed Tits, Eurasian Nuthatch, Short-toed Treecreeper, Eurasian Magpie, Common Chafffinch, Eurasian Jay, and Eurasian Blackbird are possible year-round; look for Greater Whitethroat, Spotted Flycatcher, and Pied Flycatcher in migration. Scanning the skies can yield Common Wood-Pigeon, Black-headed Gull, and Great Cormorant.
One November morning, a small stand of alders about 50 meters east of the ponds brought one Lesser Redpoll in with a small flock of European Goldfinches to feed. In winter, also look for European Serin and Eurasian Siskin in this area. Mistle Thrush, Redwing, Song Thrush, and Fieldfare are all possible amidst the swelling winter population of Eurasian Blackbirds. Eurasian Bullfinches can be found in the fruiting trees nearby.
As with most bird-watching, morning is best.
Directions: Take Line 9 Metro to Pont de Sevres, exiting at Porte de St-Cloud. Walk south on Georges Lafont for about 0.5 mile. Take a right on Bd de la Republique. After a few blocks, you will cross the Seine on Pont d’Issy (be sure to be on the south side of the road). The park entrance will be on the right. The best birding habitat is on the far side of the park.
Ile de Seguin Another island on a southwestern stretch of the Seine, Ile de Seguin is a newly-constructed park reclaimed from the remnants of a defunct Renault factory. Busted windows near the water’s edge and reinforced cement entryways are vestiges of the islands industrial past, built in 1934 with the last car rolling off the production line in 1992. The buildings were finally demolished in 2005. Don’t expect a diversity of habitat at Ile de Sequin: it’s covered by a thick shrub that, I suspect, was planted because of its tolerance for industrial toxics that likely remain in the soil. Bring your binoculars, however, just in case the Little Ringed Plovers seen during construction in 2012 remain. European Goldfinches and European Serins are possible year-round and outlying trees and shrubs should attract migrants in spring and fall. Black-headed Gulls are reliable on the river: Common Terns possible in migration.
Directions: Take Line 9 to the last stop: Pont de Sevres. The island is visible from the Pont de Sevres bridge but you need to walk south and east along the river to access the new (modern-looking) passenger footbridge. The path continues to the left to exit the island via an older bridge on the other side (which a birder needn’t explore).
Parc du Beaumonts Parc du Beaumonts is a small hill on the outskirts of NE Paris (Montreuil) with a deciduous forest at its base and overgrown habitat with scrub and grass—even a pond—at its modest summit, the highest point in the area. It may be a bit out of the way, but this raised forest—in a sea of apartment buildings—is a magnet for passing migrants in August/September and April/May. Visit in the morning to scour the treetops and the summit for a slough of possible passerines otherwise difficult to find in Paris. Return in the afternoon to perch on the parks berm to scan the skies for passing raptors, with Eurasian Hobby and Honey Buzzard possible.
Parc du Beaumonts is the stomping grounds of British expat birder, David Thorns, who, with a regular cadre of birders, tally 120+ species a year. Check his blog for recent sightings.
Directions: Take Line 9 all the way to the end, Marie de Montreuil. Follow Avenue Walwein east for several blocks before it takes a soft right and continues as Rue Galilée. At the T-intersection, take a right onto Avenue Jean Moulin. After two blocks, the entrance to the park will be on your left.
Jardin des Plantes
Located in the fifth arrondissement across Gare d’Austerlitz, the Jardin des Plantes is the flagship botanical garden in France. For the plant enthusiast, there are numerous demonstration gardens, a rose garden, separate greenhouses for both Mexican and Australian plant species, and an alpine garden with 3000 species from around the world. Nature enthusiasts will enjoy the four museums on site (Paleontology, Entomology, Mineralogy, and the Grand Gallery of Evolution) as well as the world’s oldest zoo, created in 1795 with animals brought from the royal menagerie at Versailles.
For the birdwatcher, much of the gardens are maintained in the traditional French style—a symmetrical statement of man’s ability to control nature. Wander the gardens and you’ll quickly find Eurasian Magpie, Eurasian Jay, Common Wood-Pigeon, Carrion Crow, European Starling, Great Tit, and Eurasian Blue Tit.
The Jardin Ecologique offers the most promising habitat within the park with trees of varying heights, snags, and undergrowth. This area is only accessible 11:00am-12:30pm by guided tour (€4) but almost all of it is viewable from the perimeter (although this path is packed with joggers in the morning). Look and listen for Eurasian Nuthatch, Short-toed Treecreeper, Eurasian Wren, Blackcap, European Robin, Dunnock, Common Chiffchaff, Long-tailed Tit, and Eurasian Blackbird.
As you move west in the park, you may be able to see a (captive) Eurasian Eagle-Owl in a zoo enclosure to your right. Keep on eye out for European Greenfinch and Eurasian Moorhen in the gardens to your left and listen for Rose-ringed Parakeet, a recent addition to the park list whose population is increasing in Paris.
Finally, the evergreen forest is tall and lacks an understory but it should yield additional opportunities for treecreepers, blackbirds, and the aforementioned tits, as well as Goldcrest, and possible Song Thrush.
Cimetiere du Pere Lachaise Cimetiere du Pere Lachaise (“Pere Lachaise Cemetery”) is a popular tourist attraction located in the 20th arrondisement on the east side of Paris. Over 100 acres of beautiful old trees greets visitors to this historic landmark, but birders shouldn’t expect the undergrowth that makes ideal bird habitat: that area is occupied by thousands and thousands of gravestones and crypts dating back to the early 19th century. That doesn’t mean you should keep your binoculars in the hotel room; the trees can get quite thick in some sections and the raised hill at the south end of the park can attract passerines in migration.
The more common species in Paris abound, including: Common Wood-Pigeon, Great Tit, Eurasian Blue Tit, Eurasian Jay, Eurasian Magpie, Carrion Crow, Short-toed Treecreeper, Eurasian Blackbird, and European Starling.
The call of a Great Spotted Woodpecker could be heard anywhere, as well as Eurasian Nuthatch. Scour the numerous flocks of tits for less numerous Coal Tit. Look for flocks of European Greenfinch feeding on seeds of conifer trees. To find some of the only underbrush in the cemetery, head to the roundabout with the tomb of Casimir Perier (1777-1832) and find the small trails uphill to the north, paralleling Avenue des Accacias. Listen for Eurasian Wren and European Robin.
Work your way up the trails to scour the trees for passerines during migration. A trip in mid-October yielded a large flock of Firecrest, numerous Common Chiffchaff, several Song Thrush on the fruiting conifers, a handful of Blackcap, a European Pied Flycatcher, and a fly-by Eurasian Hobby.
Once you’ve packed away the binoculars, return to the entrance to look at the map of famous residents, including Oscar Wilde, Frederic Chopin, and Jim Morrison.
Bois de Vincennes
The 2,500 acre Bois de Vincennes comprises the eastern half of the “green lungs of Paris.” If the pace of the city and the noise of its urban arteries have grown tiresome, retreat to this tangle of trails threading through this impressive expanse of untamed deciduous forest. Prefer stylized greenscapes and the sightlines of a dramatic park avenue? Bois de Vincennes will also satisfy; it even has a lake or two.
Enter from the Port Doree Metro station and walk the edge of Lac Daumesnil. Joggers will be present at every hour of the day, more so on the weekends. Move west and the packs of aerobic junkies—and the urban din—will fall from memory.
The lake hosts a large gaggle of Canada Geese. Sort through the flocks to find a resident Barnacle or Bar-headed Goose or a flock of Ruddy Shelducks. All are introduced and therefore uncountable to listing purists, but still worth a study. The lake also supports Black-headed Gull, Gray Heron, Great Cormorant, Mute Swan, and Mallard but also check for migrating waterfowl. The island, accessed from a bridge near the Buddhist temple, can be a good place to find migrants like Song Thrush and Firecrest in migration and Rose-ringed Parakeet year round.
The brushy area south of the lake is a good place to scan for Dunnock, Eurasian Greenfinch, and Common Chaffinch. In winter, look for increasingly scarce Eurasian Tree Sparrow and Cirl Bunting. Keep an eye open for patrolling Eurasian Kestrels. As you move further east, you’ll find more deciduous trees and a greater likelihood of seeing forest birds like Eurasian Jay, Eurasian Wren, European Magpie, Goldcrest, Short-toed Treecreeper, Common Chiffchaff, Eurasian Nuthatch, European Robin, European Blackbird, and Song Thrush. Expect passerine numbers and diversity to increase during migration throughout the park. Nearly all the tit species are possible, including Great, Eurasian Blue, Long-tailed, Willow, and Crested (with Coal in migration and winter). Great Spotted, Lesser Spotted, and Green are the most likely woodpeckers, but keep an eye out for Middle Spotted and Black Woodpeckers, which you’ll be hard-pressed to find within city limits. Mistle Thrush is possible year round, but look for wintering Redwing and Fieldfare in open areas.
Access the park from Fountenay sous Bois RER station to walk around Lac des Minimes for a chance of Common Pochard in addition to many of the water birds mentioned previously. There are numerous trails in the area, but stick near a couple of the streams for a chance at Common Kingfisher.
Your chances to see any or all of the above species will increase as you cover more ground, but take care not to get too lost. A rudimentary map is a must if your smartphone doesn’t have a roaming data plan—a compass is also helpful. If and when you find a map display board, take a picture for future reference on the trail. All trails are flat and neatly maintained.
The so-called Reserve Ornithologie (located near the intersection of Allee Royale and Route Royale de Beaute) is worth a stop but don’t expect different habitat, just a fenced perimeter that, while impeding access for careful observers, protects valuable underbrush.
To depart, head north to visit Chateau de Vincennes, a hunting lodge for numerous French kings dating back to Louis VII in the 12th century.
As I continue to explore and discover vegetated Parisian nooks worthy of your binoculars, I will report them to this page. If you have any additional suggestions, please let me know by leaving a comment!
We have 400+ channels at our flat in Paris, most are devoted to imported TV shows and movies, live soccer, and round-table discussions. News, entertainment, sports; it all apparently requires a roundtable discussion consisting of a host, a panel of experts, and a studio audience, the most attractive of whom are positioned directly behind whoever spends the most time on camera.
I don’t understand what is being said – the French is spoken quickly and dives into material deeper than favorite colors and counting to ten – but it appears as if the conversation is very intelligent and insightful. Compare this to studio audiences in the United States where, if participants can’t laugh, see someone famous, or have the chance of winning a new car, seats won’t get filled.
When our friend Mark – a registered Francophile – came to visit us, he introduced us to one of the oddest amendments to the roundtable discussions: Les Guignols de l’Info. The program is a seven-minute interlude of short sketches—kind of like Saturday Night Live if the actors had comically-large heads, stiff joints, and rigid facial expressions. The actors are puppets.
The episode we watched started innocently enough with an interview with Clint Eastwood, followed by two smoking and drinking E.T.’s in a fake promo for the movie “E.T. the prequel.” Next, a jovial and casually dressed Gerard Depardieu made a cameo carrying a bottle of wine. It is refreshing to know that Gerard maintains cultural relevance somewhere in the world.
The final sketch featured Jean Dujardin, the lead actor in The Artist and showed excerpts from his next film: The Infidels.
I was in the other room when the next three clips showed, but based on the audio of woman moaning, I knew that this would never see primetime in the States. I rushed back into the room and sure enough: two clips of Jean Dujardin the puppet having sex with two different female puppets, in different positions. The third and final clip was of puppet felatio, with no puppet elation spared in either video or audio.
I’ll let Dujardin’s face speak for itself but, if you are from North America and 18 years or older, you can view the original screenshots here, here, and here.
It transitioned seamlessly to a straight-faced round table of experts who continued their conversation without missing a beat.
Wait, what? It’s 8:00pm—dinner time in most French households. You must be able to air anything on French television.
As it turns out, no.
I heard of a commercial where a woman, drinking a cup of coffee, walked in to the living room to help her son with his homework on the computer. Sounds benign, no? It was denied by the Autorité de Régulation Professionelle de la Publicité (ARPP) citing Clause 1/4 – “All Consumption situations in front of a screen, in a house, are prohibited.”
This is one of eighteen rules enforced by the ARPP to avoid promotion of “bad eating habits.”
Here are some direct excerpts:
1/1 Well-balanced diet: When the meal as a whole, lunch or dinner, is visualized, it must be a well-balanced diet.
1/3 Nibbling: Nibbling shouldn’t be presented as substitutable to a meal.
1/5 Societal Values: Adverts must avoid any stigmatization of persons because of their size, their stoutness or their thinness.
2/1 Association of performance to humor or to an imaginary world: The use, in an advert, of humor, original and unusual situations, or the reference to an imaginary world, is possible if it stays in a fantasy world and doesn’t risk to be understood by children like real achievements which could result from the food consumption.
Similar rules exist for those marketing cars:
1 Speed: The advert must not argue about speed, neither exploit the attraction it could represent, in the images, the sound, the overlays or in any other written information in the advert.
Better keep those puppets busy fornicating so they aren’t tempted by such moral deviations as “nibbling.”
With the entire world descending on a city for two weeks, it’s easy to make excuses to not attend the Olympics: snarled traffic, inflated hotel prices, crowds… If you find yourself with the opportunity to make a last minute decision, here’s what you can do.
Step 1 – Try to find alternative accommodations.
Assuming the hotels were clogged with overpaying tourists, Kristi and I surfed several websites where Londoners offered their apartments for rent. Despite having the technical capacity to match available apartments with our travel dates, each booking required approval from the owner. Ultimately it took 24-48 hours for half of London apartment owners to deny each of our requests.
Step 2 – Give up on alternative accommodations. Use Priceline.
Book a room at the Hilton overlooking the Thames for just over a hundred bucks a night. Breathe a huge sigh of relief that you won’t have to seek shelter from the drippy English skies by huddling in a red phone booth.
Step 3 – Buy tickets to an event. Any event.
Don’t let your mood be dampened by every Londoner with a pulse—cabbies, bartenders, waitresses, random grandmothers—who says that buying tickets is an exercise in futility. It was a challenge to find one Londoner who actually scored tickets to an event in their home city. Despite the negative prognosis, our mood was buoyed by the rumor that batches of tickets were being released every day at 9am and 11pm. We checked frequently every day and, each time, felt the elation of victory as we came tantalizingly close to purchasing tickets followed quickly by the sting of defeat as the website returned the same cold response: “there are no tickets available for this event.” We received this prompt after every stage of the purchase process: after clicking on the event listed on a page called ‘Available Tickets’; after selecting the number of tickets to purchase; after waiting for 15 minutes (yes a quarter of an hour) for the system to check an unknown, and apparently distant, database; after adding the available tickets to our shopping cart; and even after inputting our credit card information and clicking “Purchase.” After 20+ failed attempts, I yearned for the relative sophistication of the Ticketmaster website, words I swore never to speak.
Step 4 – Give up on purchasing tickets. Attend any free event.
Events like triathlons and marathons require lots of space and are ultimately difficult to control access to. Over our three-day stay we attended the women’s Triathlon, women’s Marathon, and men’s 20km Race Walk.
Step 5 – Figure out what the heck is “Race Walk.”
The Race Walk course looped past Buckingham Palace and was lined with thousands people drawn together by the sunny weather, Olympic spirit, and the desire to figure out what the eff race walking entails. I’ve seen videos and caught a glimpse during the 2008 Beijing Olympics: the comically fluid hips, limp arms, and the overwhelming urge to yell “just frickin’ run already!” make it hard to take the sport seriously. And when the pack rounded turn one in front us, a wave of amused disbelief swept through the crowd: they looked ridiculous … and they were going bloody fast.
20km Men’s Race Walk rounding the first corner, with Japan’s Yusuke Suzuki in the lead.
Race Walk rules:
One foot must be in contact with ground at all times.
The front leg must be straight when it touches the ground, and continue to be straight as it passes under the body.
If a course judge–with the naked eye–determines that a racer doesn’t have a foot on the ground (i.e. “loss of contact”) or their forward leg isn’t straight, the racer will receive a warning in the form of a yellow paddle. Violations are radioed in to a central judge who posts the tally on a leaderboard where racers can check their status on each lap. The third violation will come in the form of a red paddle, signaling their disqualification from the race.
The rules of race walking shortens racers strides, thus, in order to achieve higher speeds, race walkers attain cadence rates similar to 400 meter runners … that they maintain for the hours it takes to “run” 31 miles (50km). And for the runners out there, the winner of the Men’s 20km—Chinese race walker Ding Chen—averaged a 6:20 mile (the winner of the 50k was just under 7 minutes).
But if those times aren’t fast enough for you…
Step 6 – Have a drink or three with the former “world’s fastest man”
Turned out Canadian sprinter Donovan Bailey, who broke the 100m world record in Atlanta in 1996 (an Olympic record that would stand until Usain Bolt), was staying in our hotel. After befriending a couple inebriated Canadian Scotsmen, my friend Mike and I found ourselves at the table with Donovan—now a sportscaster for CBC—sharing beers until 4:30am.
Drinking British pints with a Jamaican-born gold medal sprinter, the father of the current world record holder for speed skating, and a Scottish doctor for the Canadian Olympic team: if that doesn’t embody the Olympic spirit, I don’t know what does.
Pictures from the 2012 London Olympics
Flag of the world draping Regent Street, south of Oxford Circus.
Athletes in Women’s Triathlon
Marathon course after a heavy rain. Big Ben in the background.
Women’s Marathon, first kilometer.
Excitement builds as the Men’s 20km Race Walk approaches on their first lap.
Race Walker, Japan’s Yusuke Suzuki
Men’s Race Walker
Iranian Race Walker, Ebrahim Rahimian
Race Walking Judge keeping an eye on racer’s form. Note the yellow paddles.
Judge working with radio operator to report violations to be displayed on leaderboard.
Crowd gathered at London’s Hyde Park to watch Andy Murray win gold in tennis.
North Korean fans gathering for Women’s marathon. Never before have I wanted to know how to speak Korean so badly.
